My Mask

I wrote this about 3 years ago for me .
A shadow cast upon the ground, here I stand looking around,
My being is bound by my will, having no one for comfort, and yet still,
In the beginning being plain, saved me from the pain,
So I made a mask that always smiled; to hide me from life's long miles.
Deep and empty haunted by me, missing a part I can't see.
No one can hear the cries; I designed my mask to hide these lies.
 All the smiles are my tears, all the comfort shown are my fears.
Everything you think you see, Wasn't everything there is to me.
So every day I slowly die, behind my mask of lies
I shall go on smiling for ever more, for this mask is my chore
Hoping a day to feel without the stare; wishing my soul would bare,
She hated her life before I came; I was neither special nor plain,
She showed me laughter and her tears, she showed her joy, and her fears,
I showed her freedom, I showed her care, I showed her that I would be there.
How she laughed, how she cried, how she jumped with laughter inside.
At the end there was no light, for the truth was just out of sight.
Oh how she wished I was real, she has no idea of how I feel,
So she closed the book, never again to take a look.
Behind my mask I shall remain, forever more neither special nor plain